This year for the holidays, why not give yourself and your loved ones a little peace of mind? Wouldn’t your children be relieved to be told that you’ve done the advance planning so that if you become incapacitated, you have appointed someone (a spouse, adult child or close friend) to help with financial and health care decisions? Would you sleep better knowing that the will you’ve put off writing for decades is finally done and in a safe place? Have you told your family what life-sustaining treatment you want if you are terminally ill, in a coma, or suffer from dementia and can’t make those decisions? Finally, what about giving your family burial instructions and giving them health care directives to use if you suffer from dementia or another illness?
Here’s a checklist of the legal documents that can help you plan for the future:
Power of attorney for health care
You can always make your own decisions when you have capacity. When you don’t, you need someone who knows your beliefs and who will be an advocate for you. It’s best to name one agent, not two or more, to minimize disagreement. Have a discussion with your family to tell them whom you have chosen. Truly, it’s a burden more than an honor, so try not to be swayed by the fear that someone’s feelings will be hurt.
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Power of attorney for finances
You may find that powers of attorney are described as “durable.” It’s a throwback term to the common law of England, where powers of attorney disappeared if you became mentally incapacitated — which isthe exact moment when you need one. For this type of power, it would be wise to name a family member who is good with managing money.
Advance directive
This document describes what type of life-sustaining treatment you want if you are in a coma, are terminally ill or have dementia. In a medical environment, you will always get pain relief, water to drink and food to eat. You may also direct that CPR, tube feeding and other life-sustaining directives be withheld if your quality of life is diminished (in case of dementia, brain injury or a terminal condition with no hope of improvement). The advance directive will spell out your wishes and is an important step for you and your loved ones, as end-of-life decisions also carry with them intense emotion. You may access a good advance directive form at Tennessee Health Department page on advance health care directives. To be enforceable, your signature must be notarized or witnessed by two adults not related to you.
Living will
This document is like an advance directive but typically not as extensive.
Will
A will that is properly executed makes it easier for your family to dispose of your stuff according to your wishes. If a will is not produced, it will left to statutes and the probate court to decide who gets your stuff.
Trust
If you don’t want probate — either the expense or the public nature of it — a trust operates just like a will, but in private.
Other directions
On a personal note, when my mom suffered from dementia, we didn’t know what she would have liked. It’s important to consider writing these things down, in addition to funeral directions. A simple list that spells out your personal care and funeral wishes can calm the emotions of your loved ones during a heartbreaking time and ensure that you are treated and honored in the manner you desire. My husband and I spent a fun hour (I’m serious) on a recent drive developing a list for our respective children. I want chocolate and he doesn’t. We even decided that we wanted our ashes sprinkled where are dogs are buried. And we added that if the new homeowners wouldn’t cooperate, our kids could just throw our ashes over the fence. You can tell we love our four-legged friends.
I’ve always been a fan of gifts that are not just more things. Give it a try for any gift-giving occasion and sleep better in the future.
Attorney Barbara Moss is the founder of Elder Law of Nashville PLC, specializing in elder law issues, including estate planning, probate, Medicaid planning, VA planning and benefits, conservatorships, powers of attorney and living wills. She has been licensed for more than 30 years. For more information, she can be reached at Elder Law of Nashville PLC, 615-852-5602, or visit her online at: http://elderlawofnashville.